2018- I fell in love.

This year I fell in love.

With foggy villages I sauntered into in total oblivion.

With mountain top moments holding the hands of those who have taken care of me for years.

With muddy streets in a city further east than my feet or heart had sunk into before.

With a community that blossomed around me and crumbled on the floor alongside me when the pain in my heart was unbearable to stand beneath.

With home- both of them… all of them.

With art that doesn’t make sense to me.

With language that doesn’t make sense to me.

With feelings that don’t make sense to me.

With new tattoos and new soul sisters, and old ones all over again.

With moments in the forest under twinkly lights, my entire spirit engulfed by the melodies flowing around me.

With a little girl who truly empathised with my anxiety but coaxed me outside to jump on her trampoline and allow laughter to seep into my dark moments anyway.

With a man more kind and gentle and steady and strong than my 21 years of prayers could have asked for.

And myself.

My own heart. My body, my uneven skin, my fears, my misunderstanding.

With the opportunity to be seen deeply and totally, even as my hands shake from fear of not being enough.

I fell in love with my very Best Friend.

Who really, honestly, deeply gets it. all of it, and who reminds me of shining moments when the cyclone of confusion and pain is too much. And who comes so very close every single time I ask and when I forget to ask.

In 2018 I fell in love. I am fiercely hungry for the love that is wrapped up in 2019, waiting to be unraveled by our hands- as frail and beautiful and powerful as they are.