What the Heck Am I Doing? (part 3... yes it's the last one)

So I realize this has been an incredibly drawn out story. However, I felt the Lord push me to share it... the entire thing. If you're still reading, you're a trooper.

When I got home, I had about 24 hours before I had to drag myself back into a deep espresso-filled cave full of crazy people (a.k.a Starbucks). It was not my favorite, especially since I had this new calling on my life and I knew for sure I wasn't supposed to be here forever. On the other hand, it gave me a sense of urgency to love the people there as fully as I could, and to embrace the things that used to drive me insane: every sweet old person that wanted coffee before 6am, every dropped macchiato, every milk-covered floor, every conversation squeezed in as we ran around like animals. I was full of anticipation, and simultaneously more content than I had been all year. It became increasingly clearer to me that my fall season, which felt so dark, was simply a season of humbling. The precious grace of Jesus showing me that HE made Unify Greenville happen, and that Unify Greenville was not over, it was just getting started. However, if I was ever going to fulfill the full potential of the vision for Unify Greenville, I needed to spend some time learning and training in events, ministry, and the Church world.

I continued looking into one specific organization that stuck out to me when searching through hundreds of ways I could move to Europe, and that was Operation Mobilization (OM) (www.omusa.org) It just so happened that OM had some "event planning" positions in a few different countries across Europe. Yet again, almost humorous. I planned a huge event, somehow managed to pull it off, but truth be told, a good bit of things could have been done differently... better... things I would have only know through having more experience. Once again, my next step was laid out clear as day, and I began the application process with OM.

Around this time, I received the news that there was an open Summer Staff spot at Young Life's Frontier Ranch, and they were in dire need of baristas... Funny. For those of you not familiar with Young Life, they have about 30 camps across the U.S. that fill up for 12 straight weeks with about 500 kids each week. In order to make the summers as incredible as they do, they staff it with volunteer high-school and college kids- usually ones that live, breathe, and love Young Life. So without very much thought, I decided to go.

As I began thinking about my flight to Frontier Ranch in Buena Vista, CO, I realized I have a friend in Denver I would love to see. Then it occurred to me I have a friend at San Diego State University, and one living in Phoenix, one in Portland, another in Sedona... I realized I wanted to see the west, to travel, and to visit some of my favorite people. I doubted it would be possible, logistically or financially, but I sat down with my Mom one night to look at flights. When it came down to it, I needed to save about $300 more than I would be able to make working at Starbucks full time in the weeks I had left. I was disappointed as I trudged upstairs to sleep before it occurred to me I had a bit of Christmas money stashed still somewhere in my room. Then I remembered another $10 left in a birthday card in my desk... By the time I had cleaned my room, I had exactly $300 in cash. Another moment I was close to throwing up, I knew the Lord was trying to take me across the country in the month leading up to my 4 week job at Frontier Ranch. And again, without much thought, I booked the tickets.

Long story short(er than it could be), the trip was INCREDIBLE. I learned so much about travel, myself, my heart, what I wanted out of life. I got to see the sunset over the Grand Canyon, the green waterfalls in Oregon, the incredible Red Rocks in Sedona. However, as I traveled around, I was continually perplexed than I hadn't received the second part of my application with OM. Was this what I was supposed to be doing? I was sure the Lord told me to go to Europe, but I was very unsure how I was going to get there. But again, the Lord was waiting until the perfect moment. Then, just two days before I would turn my phone off and immerse myself it the Colorado mountains for one of the best months of my life, I received the email that I had been accepted past first phase of the application. I couldn't believe it.

I waited until I returned from my expedition to complete my application- it ended up taking close to three weeks. The main reason it took so long was because my resume was in desperate need of some updating. My mom encouraged me to send it to an event planner friend named Chrysta, who had previously helped me with Unify, to get some feedback. A few hours after I sent it, I received another email saying something along the lines of:

"Hey Maddie! Excited for you and this new opportunity. I'll give it a look! How soon do you move? I have an idea..."

Little did I know, this was a brand new adventure about to smack me in the back of the head. Chrysta called me later that week and explained that the organization she worked for, Family Research Council (headquartered in Washington, D.C.), was embarking on a two month cross country bus tour to encourage voters to exercise their right to vote, and to vote based on what they believed in. This tour would be across 25 states with over 150 events in 60 days. Essentially, it was any event planner's worst nightmare. Simultaneously, it was an event-planner-in-training's worst nightmare, but also one I would be stupid to turn down. I could work under someone else, learn about events, learn a good bit about politics, and see the country through the windows of a tour bus. The organization was Family Research Council, which I knew very little about, and I was doubtful I agreed with them on all the issues we would be talking about. I thought and prayed about it for 6 days and by the end, I had convinced myself that I was not the girl for the job. Too crazy, too many details, too much structure, too many "religious" people I would be dealing with... and the politics were a heeeeck no. I made the excuse that politics divide people and I knew my calling is to unify people. Just as soon as I made that decision, I felt the Lord speak to my heart.

"Madeline, if you are going to unify people, you have to be among people that are divided. I'm calling you to revival beyond Greenville, I'm taking you across the nation."

I was dumbfounded, terrified, and ecstatic all over again.

So here I am, sitting on the patio of a coffee shop in downtown D.C., preparing to go cross country with an organization I still know very little about.

Currently, I'm working about 45 hours a week for a month before the trip, putting together details, scrambling to catch up with previous plans that have been made, and trying to navigate a freaking HUGE city all alone. It's the loneliest, weirdest, most unbalanced, greatest adventure yet.

Here's the thing. We can never expect where God is going to put us. We can guess, we can dream, we can even try to imagine bigger than our wildest dreams. So often, I find myself trying to figure out what Jesus is going to do next. Then I think, "well if He doesn't do _____, then surely He'll do ____", only to be blown away when He does something that never even crossed my mind. I guess that what he means when Paul writes,

"Immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine" (Ephesians 3:20)

There's our dreams. Then there's our greatest imaginations. Then there's the "more" that He's going to give. Then there's the "immeasurably more" that He blows our mind's with.

He gave me the vision for Unify to break my heart for the Church and show me that He wanted me in event planning.

He humbled me and showed me I needed more experience.

He took me to Europe to let me fall in love with the place He would later lead me to.

He took me across the U.S. to grow my confidence in traveling and show me what life is like outside of myself and my tiny Greenville.

And now D.C. to learn more than I ever thought possible about the event world.

All to prepare me for more than I can imagine right now.

How 'bout that.

Endless Love,